6/16/12....The Past Six Weeks Got Me Tired!

Life has moved at a fast pace ever since I was diagnosed with breast cancer...February 28, 2012.  Then I got hit between the eyes when Bill had a surprised OPEN HEART SURGERY on April 25, 2012.  I had no time to think of what this would mean to both of us.  The long hours of physical therapy and occupational therapy.  The hours of rest.  The weeks in a wheel chair.  Going to a walker.  It seemed I lived at the rehab center with Bill.  Life continued at our home, the wash, the vacuum, our dog Annie.  The sleepless nights.  The worry when Bill could not eat.  The worry when his antibiotic hurt his belly.  The bathroom upsets when I would take him to a doctor's office.  The clean-up of Bill in a tiny bathroom at the doctor's office..by me.  Poor us..Me on my hands and knees.  Me almost sitting in the toilet doing a clean-up and a wash down of Bill.  Throwing his clothes away at that moment in time.  The nurse bringing me some scrubs so Bill would have something to put on, so he could go to his doctor's appointment and have the horrible Cather taken out that was three day's over due.  Those were the days one never knew how to get through them. I had no time to think of my up and coming double mastectomy and what that would mean for me in recuperation after the surgery. 
     The rest time for me has not come.  The nights continue to have hot sweats in store for me.  Blankets fly on and off.  The air-conditioner gets turned up.  I wrestle with sleepless nights.  When I do sleep all night it is a gift from the God's. Someone asked "How do you get through this?"  That is a luxury to think of how?  You just do it with the beat of your worry drum and the sounds coming from the ladies at the last Breast Support Meeting.  You never forget meeting women at the meetings that you have never before seen and hear their stories of the pain and the lymphodemia in their arms.  You remember seeing the stocking like things on their arms to relieve the pain they are going through.  Do I think of all of this ?.......YES!  Hugs, phyllis  www.women70andover.com