1/11/2013 My Mom's Face ? pr

We all think  we know so much when it comes to aging!  The older I get the less I know!  Of course, I am finding the mirror is the best teacher out there!  Instead of looking like my Mom, I look like my Dad!  It happens in the best of families.  Did it have to happen to me?  My Mom had such a lovely round face.  My Dad had a bony face.  I have a bony face with sunk in cheeks that land over my cheekbones.  At least they have something to hang on to.  I have lost weight in my face.  Does that happen to everyone?  No!  I really think all other women I see must have faces like their Mom's  I have not seen one other lady with a bony face.  Aging is so personal.  Nice thick hair!  No!  I do not have that either.  Instead, I have waves in my hair that look as if they flew off my Dad's head.  There is no remedy for this.  No face creams, no beauty shops, no nothing.  Just cold turkey truth!

I never in my life thought I would live to be on the verge of eighty years old.  I always thought when one becomes sixty, surely that person would be in a wheel chair.  I was climbing large steep trails when I was sixty and got married again at the age of sixty-three.  I had no thought of old age, or becoming old.  Romance will do that for you!  Now when I ponder eighty years old, I say to myself, "that is  @#$% old!  I am able to continue walking four miles every morning!  That does not count or help my bony face! Hugs,phyllis 05/06/1933      phyllisreh@aol.com     www.women70andover.com

1/10/13 Skin Cancer pr

                             SKIN CANCER

Bill my husband eighty-four continues to have bouts with skin cancer.  He was a sailboat sailor for fifty years, before sunscreens.  He has had a beard for that length of time.  Yesterday that became history.  He cut his beard off as the skin doctor wanted.  His appointment with the skin doctor yesterday included freezing seventeen large skin cancers from his face and head.  This is ongoing with him.  There is pain down to the bone.  He will have a one-hour surgery on January 29, 2013, of a more serious nature in the office.

 

This is skin cancer that occurred twenty years previous or more and shows its ugly head twenty years later.  Use sunscreen to say the very least.  Wear hats and long sleeves.  Better than all of that stay out of the sun.  Hugs,phyllis 05/06/1933     phyllisreh@aol.com           www.women70andover.com

1/9/13 Crowd in ONE MORE THING ! pr

                                            One More Thing

One more thing happens at all ages.   An extra hour at work.  You forgot something at the grocery.  We have all done these things with ease.  As we age these simple chores that you excepted become mountains in your life.  Mountains that are coupled with major illnesses that lead to doctor’s appointments.  New medications.  Your spouse’s major illnesses that hit unexpectedly.  Sleeping gets harder to do at bedtime.  Staying asleep also becomes a problem.  Another trip to the bathroom.  Your head gets full of all these moments of distractions.  You begin an exercise program of walking.  This is great when you are walking, then real life gets in the way and you are back on your scheduled treadmill of one more thing to do. 

This brings about the opportunity to take a time out for you.  Go to a quiet room.  Sit in a chair, or lie down in the bed.  Have some quiet type music on and clear your head.  Do not let anything enter your head except air.  We all need quiet time.  We all need something we do, just for us, so we can give to others.  After a week of this, you will notice your blood pressure going down.  A calmness will run through your shoulders.  You have slowed your body down.  More important you have learned to let go of one more thing!  Give yourself a chance and continue with quiet time and quality time added to your life.  It is free! Hugs,phyllis  05/06/1933     phyllisreh@aol.com       www.women70andover.com

 

 

 

1/8/13 A ROSE IS A ROSE IS A ROSE pf

                                         A Rose Bush with No Thorns?

The article in the Washington Post a few days ago was thought provoking, titled, SHARED PARENTING CAN TEST A MARRIAGE, authored by Janice D’Arcy. I commend the author, Ms D’Arcy.  The article for me was mind stretching, as it was about sharing, chores and real life.   In our case, Bill and me, we are eighty and eighty-four.  We are  light years away from parenting.  On the other hand the sharing, giving and taking with major illnesses  also is over-whelming ..I cannot write about

 how to do it!  Trust me, I wish I could! In retrospect,  I do not know how we both got though this most difficult of year, 2012.  Me with a diagnosis of breast cancer, with an invasive fourteen centimeter  lobular cancer that was not detected for years as it grew and bloomed like a large pumpkin. Then three months later unexpected Bill has open-heart surgery, that included four bypasses. 

Looking back, with some calmness and experience, and reading and doctors, and tests, we dealt with a new life that included doctor’s appointments and medications that throw your life in a tail spin.  Emotions that come out like thorns.  Retracting these thorns inwardly, until you  learned  how to accept them and deal with them.   I wondered would I lose him?  How will he ever get out of this?  Will he be a vegetable?  Cutting one’s chest opened!  What is this all about? 

     Very lucky for us, our son had taken over a year earlier when he encouraged us to get rid of our large home and pick a different more manageable housing, which we did.  The move was monumental.  The stuff was like mountains of Good Will clothes and books and things in boxes we had not seen in years.  Somehow, we did this.  We carted things to Good Will.  We took items to our new two bedrooms, one floor home.  We had a mover.  We had a dear friend, who was also my mentor at Daytona State University, Kevin Donlin.  Repeatedly he would move so many boxes in his truck.  In the meantime, so many wheels of motion came into place that we could not recognize as they were happening.  My daughter who lives out of town and her husband decided this was the year they would move down here.  They will live here half of the year and live in their home the other six months.  Our son bought a home in our sub division.  They will move here in a year or so.  Our lives were  given a stable foundation.  We both started getting our emotional balance.  We knew we had our lives in order, but we did not know how the turmoil and upheaval of these two major illnesses rob you at the same time of stability.  This is when “real life gets in the way”.  You must think fast, but you cannot.  You must act quickly, but you cannot..Somehow, the robot within you takes over.  Doing the wash when Bill was in rehab for six weeks.  Taking him home daily ,with his  wheel chair in the truck of the car.  Trying to adjust to my new meds.  Taking long daily walks to keep my sanity.  Not knowing if I could get through all of this.  With thegrace of the Almighty, family and friends, somehow we are here at this bright spot in our lives. I always say, “The Almighty  teaches, “I can only give you one moment at a time, otherwise you will never get through this” Thank heavens for all our help, and the strength and determination that we unwrapped within us. Hugs, phyllis 05/06/1933   phyllisreh@aol.com         www.women70andover.com  

 

 

 

 

1/4/13 MEDITATION ! WHO? ME? pr

What a difference a meditation makes!  It really works and is easy and free and helpful!  What more can one ask for?  It even adds quality years to one's life! 

Meditation is similar to a pill, except you do not have to swallow it!  The side affects are all positive and you never forget to take this "med" with you!  A win, win, situation.  Meditation will help you sleep better.  Lower your blood pressure, and relieve anxiety for starters.

  Here is one way to do it:  Mood light, you are worth it!  Soft music.  A calm room would be good.  A blanket would be cuddle.  Get rid of your cell phone, children and doorbells!  Lie down.  The music is playing, now is the time to take yourself to a quiet beach, or the cool forest, or the top of the Teton Mountains.  A place where you are aware of nothing else.  Let go as you feel your self getting relaxed.  The more you concentrate on the music, the more you will feel yourself letting go of some of your baggage.  It really works.  Meditation is so memorable I wanted to share it with you! Hugs,phyllis 05/06/1933   phyllisreh@aol.com  www.women70andover.com

1/3/13 I Laugh At Myself ! pr

Even when you have cancer !@#$%  happens:

Compartmentalize:  When my purse has purses within I felt this would be a solution to finding my stuff easily!  Not so!  I looked for my car keys.  I had just dropped them in my purse going into the store.  After pulling everything out of my purse in the parking lot with stuff on top of the car, the keys were no where to be found!  Like a mad woman I turned the purse upside down, in a quiet rage!  They were clanging together somewhere in  that black  cavern in my purse.  Ah! Hah !  I could feel the keys when I ran my hand on the bottom of the lining .  There was a hole in the lining!  The keys found their way through this hole.  I was again out smarted by my car keys!  I threw all the stuff back in my purse with the promise to myself I would organize and clean all this junk when I got home!  This is one of the ways to cope with cancer! Hugs,phyllis 05/06/1933  phyllisreh@aol.com  www.women70andover.com

1/1/13 Tribute to Judy Blume pr

Judy Blume, a master of words.  She proved this to be true with the completion of so many remembered children's books.  She will continued to be read all over the world  world for generations to come.  She recently died of breast cancer.  I will miss her smiles and her courage.  She left me gifts of purpose and determination.  I did not have to know her in person to be a best friend.  When you leave something for others of such value it is a gift of the soul.

Judy Blume wrote this when speaking of her breast cancer: 
Judy Blume: The beloved young adult author, 74, writes about her breast cancer diagnosis and recovering from a mastectomy on her blog in a post titled !@#$% Happens.

phyllis 05/06/1933   phyllisreh@aol.com  www.women70andover.com
Check out Judy Blume's website: judyblume.com ..see for yourself!